August was a very busy month for some of our writers as we started new semesters and class schedules. We hope that you will enjoy the insights we discovered this summer as we settle back in!
A Letter to Those Fearful and Wonderful – an article on dating mishaps and being loved by God, by Sarah.
I dated my best friend for five years.
Though those five years were shaky and disrupted, a constant up and down, yes and no, will they, wonʼt they kind of ordeal, he was the first guy I ever considered spending the rest of my life with. He was the first guy I trusted and opened up too, the first guy I ever let hold my hand and the first guy I ever kissed. Then one day, all of that changed.
We havenʼt spoken in 3 years now.
Heʼs engaged and Iʼm still as single as can be.
Being one whose love language is quality time, my tendency is to seek out company whenever I am down. Iʼll be the first one to admit to you that this means one of my biggest struggles has always been how I handle myself with members of the opposite sex.
I come from a chain of broken, shallow relationships that are usually the result of my poor choice of coping mechanism and shaky ability to commit. In the past, Iʼd blame this on my first relationship falling apart. Itʼs so simple to play the “betrayed by your best friend” card and shrug it off. Itʼs easy to think that one more time wouldnʼt hurt anything and maybe just pushing those boundaries a little further would ease that ache you feel in the crevices of your soul.
It took a lot of bad choices, wrong turns, and bone-breaking collisions of my flesh and spirit before I came to the root of the issue; my burden of broken relationships and gratification issues was not rooted in one relationship gone sour, but instead it was a much deeper issue. It was an issue of identity, a battle with self worth. Like most girls of the 17 year old persuasion, I only felt beautiful when I had a guy noticing me. My worth came in how often my hand was held and whether or not there was a “good morning” text waiting when I got up.
It took me essentially 19 years before it clicked, before I came to realize that all along there has been someone who tells me Iʼm beautiful every day of my life. In fact, He sent me a 24 verse love letter telling me exactly how He feels about me. The love letter is also known as the verses of Psalm 139 and the guy is Jesus Christ.
“O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it.
For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. . .
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well,”
- Psalm 139:1-6,13-14
It seems like a fairly basic concept, but it honestly blew my mind the day I realized that God thinks Iʼm beautiful. He not only calls me beautiful, but He cares enough to remind me on a daily basis. The same mighty, sovereign God who created the universe and put the earth into motion is the same God who takes the time each day to look at one measly little girl in North Carolina and say, “Sarah, youʼre beautiful,”. The best part is, He really means it. Not only does He call me beautiful, but He rejoices in the way that He made me and takes the time to lay out the path before me. It doesnʼt matter what anyone else in the world thinks or how I view myself. I know all I have to do is step into the presence of my Heavenly Father and Iʼll be filled with truth, reminded in confidence of who He has made me to be.
Iʼm His daughter, made new by His precious sacrifice.
Iʼm His princess, because He is the King of Kings and has called me to live as royalty.
Iʼm a warrior, equipped by His strength to fight with confidence and see the Kingdom come down to earth.
Iʼm fearfully and wonderfully made, a masterpiece in the sight of the Lord.
With the dawn of each morning, in the quiet moments, and even in the chaos of everyday life, there is always someone who takes joy in telling me how much He loves me, and will never grow tired of doing so. His love isnʼt conditional, it isnʼt based on what I give in return, and it isnʼt given to serve an ulterior motive. Instead, Godʼs love is unfailing, never ending, and unconditional; He loves us because He loves us, because that is just who He is.
With this truth under my belt, I find a new wave of confidence that allows me to look in the mirror and see myself through His eyes. Somehow when the Lord tells me Iʼm beautiful, I believe it and begin to walk in it knowing that His word is truth and His truth brings life. In that truth, I donʼt need a guy to make me feel beautiful or to measure my worth. I find myself complete and confident in Christ, more fulfilled than Iʼve ever been before.
Relationships can be shallow and guys go as quickly as they come, but the love that Christ has for us is everlasting, and He will never get tired of telling us exactly how He made us; fearfully and wonderfully and beautifully.
To find out more about Sarah, visit our writer’s page.
Art Credit: Pinterest